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Pharmaceutical Company Mylan Raises Price of EpiPen to Help Curb Overpopulation

In Local News, Politics, Science by Ryco Newton-Block

CANONSBURG, PA – In a surprisingly selfless and noble act, giant pharmaceutical company, Mylan, has drastically increased the price of life-saving EpiPens in an effort to “solve the world’s population problem.” The decision to “help humanity” by raising the price of this extremely vital product has sent anaphylactic shock waves throughout the entire world.

“China has a rule that you can only have one child, and that’s a good start to putting Read More

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Homeless Man Inspires College Student to Volunteer for a Weekend

In Local News by Joe Powell

TAMPA, FL – “I had a tough decision to make,” said Matt Dodd, 22, a fifth year senior at the University of Tampa. Sources say that, as graduation approached, Dodd struggled with deciding whether to work for his father’s company or to exploit his parents’ financial generosity and backpack through Europe for a year.

Local journalists report that homeless man and decorated war hero, Lawrence “Larry” Douglas, 67, approached Dodd on Thursday Read More

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Local Man Avoids Best Friend’s Clear Signs of Alcoholism

In Relationships by Joe Powell

MANCHESTER, NH – “I’m concerned about him and his drinking,  but I don’t want to make a big deal about it, or, even worse, encourage him to confront me about my Adderall addiction,” said Michael Mack, 28, a medical sales representative and avid men’s softball player.

Mack has been drinking with best friend Ryan England since they were both 14-years-old. Local journalists report that Mack recently witnessed England drink 27 beers in just Read More

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New York Realtor Fired for Actually Representing His Clients Best Interests

In Local News by Ryco Newton-Block

NEW YORK, NY – “I don’t know what came over me. It was the worst mistake of my professional career,” said Michael Milner, a NYC real estate agent with 12 years of experience. “I lost everything. I represented my client’s interests instead of my own and it has cost me dearly. I’ve been fired from my brokerage, shunned by my peers, and blackballed by the entire real estate community.” Michael claims his actions were not premeditated but those around Read More

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Italian Earthquake Shakes Local Woman’s Unrealistic Dream of Moving to Italy

In Local News by Joe Powell

DRACUT, MA – “I’m absolutely devastated,” sighed Lisa Tonelli, 37, who, for nearly a decade, has been telling friends and coworkers that “one day I’m just going to get the heck out of here and buy a little place in Italy.”

Journalists spoke to the seasoned paralegal in the break room at Ballard & Ballard Law Firm. Tonelli’s laptop sat open on the table. The background, a small French town she mistook for an Italian village after Googling “Italian Read More

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For Sale – Pets

In Local News by Joe Powell

 Beautiful Spotted Female Boa

  • Hypoallergenic
  • Minimal Shedding
  • Venom Free

We are looking for a caring and responsible, parent for our two-year-old, 17-foot long female boa constrictor, Emily. Emily is a sassy little snake, full of personality. Emily loves giving hugs and makes a great pet for families with young children. Emily is a registered service snake, providing parents with the ability to travel with her.

Emily is a spotted boa constrictor of the Serpentus Giantess breed. She is venomless and Read More