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Old College Friends Launch Business – Promptly Don’t Speak for 3 Months

In Local News by Joe Powell

COLLEGE PARK, MD – “If only one of us knew how to write code we would’ve had no problem getting the business going,” said 26-year-old Aaron Dent of his most recent failed business concept. Dent was influenced by listening to over 30 minutes of the audio book version of Tim Ferris’ “4 Hour Work Week”. “I was inspired. I had no interest in being an Account Manager anymore. I wanted, well I still want to be an entrepreneur.” Sources report Read More

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Country Crosses Fingers for a Hurricane to Finally Destroy Florida

In Weather by Joe Powell

In the peak of hurricane season, Florida once again hopes to escape without a serious hurricane for the 10th year in a row. Meanwhile, top meteorologists and the rest of the country cross their fingers for a hurricane to finally wipe out the uninhabitable toilet state.

Meteorologist Kip Snyder of the National Weather Center in Washington, DC, claims there will be an increase in the number of hurricanes this season. Kip is no rookie to the high stakes world of Read More

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Homeless Man Inspires College Student to Volunteer for a Weekend

In Local News by Joe Powell

TAMPA, FL – “I had a tough decision to make,” said Matt Dodd, 22, a fifth year senior at the University of Tampa. Sources say that, as graduation approached, Dodd struggled with deciding whether to work for his father’s company or to exploit his parents’ financial generosity and backpack through Europe for a year.

Local journalists report that homeless man and decorated war hero, Lawrence “Larry” Douglas, 67, approached Dodd on Thursday Read More

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Local Man Avoids Best Friend’s Clear Signs of Alcoholism

In Relationships by Joe Powell

MANCHESTER, NH – “I’m concerned about him and his drinking,  but I don’t want to make a big deal about it, or, even worse, encourage him to confront me about my Adderall addiction,” said Michael Mack, 28, a medical sales representative and avid men’s softball player.

Mack has been drinking with best friend Ryan England since they were both 14-years-old. Local journalists report that Mack recently witnessed England drink 27 beers in just Read More

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Italian Earthquake Shakes Local Woman’s Unrealistic Dream of Moving to Italy

In Local News by Joe Powell

DRACUT, MA – “I’m absolutely devastated,” sighed Lisa Tonelli, 37, who, for nearly a decade, has been telling friends and coworkers that “one day I’m just going to get the heck out of here and buy a little place in Italy.”

Journalists spoke to the seasoned paralegal in the break room at Ballard & Ballard Law Firm. Tonelli’s laptop sat open on the table. The background, a small French town she mistook for an Italian village after Googling “Italian Read More

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For Sale – Pets

In Local News by Joe Powell

 Beautiful Spotted Female Boa

  • Hypoallergenic
  • Minimal Shedding
  • Venom Free

We are looking for a caring and responsible, parent for our two-year-old, 17-foot long female boa constrictor, Emily. Emily is a sassy little snake, full of personality. Emily loves giving hugs and makes a great pet for families with young children. Emily is a registered service snake, providing parents with the ability to travel with her.

Emily is a spotted boa constrictor of the Serpentus Giantess breed. She is venomless and Read More