Man Hoping Friends Forgot About Last Summer’s Cooking Hobby

In Local News by Joe Powell

WASHINGTON, DC – For the past four years, 26-year-old Ben Gladwell’s passion has been to frantically bounce from hobby to hobby in pursuit of determining his life’s passion. From home brewing and cross-fitting, to slack-lining and gluten-freein’, Ben has experimented with some of the worst millennial fads of our time. Everything changed for Ben, however, while watching Anthony Bourdain’s food and cooking based travel show “No Reservations,” one anxiety filled evening this past summer.

Ben commented on that special night in a recent interview. “After I saw the Bourdain Prague episode, I said, hey this looks like a pretty good gig. You travel around, meet some wacky people, have a few good meals and some beers. By the Brazil episode I was thinking, if I work hard enough, I could probably swing this lifestyle! All I have to do is learn how to cook professionally, quit my job, become an assistant chef for a few years, become a head chef at a high-end restaurant, write a book on my experiences, then get a TV deal. I mean, I’ve run two 5k’s over the past decade. I’m pretty much capable of anything.”

Sources claim that the very next day, Ben began purchasing unreasonably priced cooking equipment and ingredients in an effort to embark on this new passion. Over the following three months, Ben threw all his free time into what he described as “the heart and art of cooking,” a term he had picked up from a semi-autistic baker at his local Whole Foods. From morning muffins to charbroiled steaks, Ben subjected his friends and loved ones to daily sub-par meals. At work, Ben passionately discussed the importance of understanding different cultures through their cuisine.

However, by early September it seemed as though the young man’s affection for the art of cooking had passed. “Whenever I was cooking, I was always drinking a good coffee.” Said Ben. “The more I cooked, the more coffee I drank. That’s when I had an epiphany. My passion isn’t this silly cooking crap. My passion is coffee! I began reading about coffee as if I were possessed. I researched roasting, I bought beans, I slandered Starbucks. I soon realized I had a niche. There’s no coffee expert, good personality, television host guy with an edge. If I keep up this coffee roasting stuff, and start a coffee business that really takes off, I think I could be that guy. I’m just hoping my friends forget about all the cooking I was doing and really take my coffee roasting seriously. I don’t need their criticism again. Coffee is an experience, and I’m serious about starting something legitimate this time.” Ben smiled as he set down his hot mug of coffee on a large, worn out, instructional guide to starting a deep-sea fishing company.

About the Author

Joe Powell

I am a comedy writer and Co-Founder of DeadJesters Read more...