Chicago Man Lies About High School Athletic Achievements in Attempt to Attract Business

In Local News by Joe Powell

CHICAGO, IL – Young and confident 33-year-old Greg Moon, is one of the most well-known young business attorneys in the city. But at one time, many moons ago, Moon was a very forgettable high school athlete, and chubby, man-titted teen. As a four year back up point guard for the Mulberry High Marauders, Moon saw the court in purely garbage time situations, which led to ridicule by teammates and friends.

Over the past decade, Moon has buried his underachieving athletic endeavors under more recent academic and professional achievements, in a valiant attempt to reinvent himself as an alpha male.

At a recent dinner meeting to solicit a high profile client, however, Moon was forced to confront his painful past. After a few whiskeys, Jake Larnes, millionaire CEO of a lucrative international poultry company, began reliving his glory days as starting quarterback of the most successful high school football team in Illinois history.

“I slammed the ball down their throat. With under two minutes left on the clock, I drove us down the field to win state for the second year in a row,” Larnes confidently smirked across the table. Moon knew he had to match the young egomaniacs story with a brazen, well-timed lie.

“I broke the state record for points and steals as a sophomore,” chuckled the 5” 7’ fibber. “I was scouted by Syracuse for a bit, but ya know, not tall enough.” Moon sold the lie with sincere eye contact and a self-deprecating smile. Larnes accepted Moon’s lie as inflated truth and swallowed it down with his next sip of whiskey.

About the Author

Joe Powell

I am a comedy writer and Co-Founder of DeadJesters Read more…