MEXICO CITY – Donald Trump scored his greatest foreign policy victory yet at this week’s meeting in Mexico City. Trump announced in front of the crowd of 8,000 “China is cheating and expanding too quickly. We need to put a wall around those currency inflating communists.” Trump went on to state, “If we can relegate them to their rice patties the world will be a safer and greater place.”
Trump continued, “Shit, a good portion of the wall is already up. I mean it was built by ancient losers a long time ago, but with good old American ingenuity and cheap Mexican labor we can make the Great Wall great again!”
Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto agreed, “It won’t be that difficult to finish the wall and the economic benefits of keeping China in a bubble will pay dividends for both nations.”
Trump and Nieto have agreed to split the cost of the wall under the condition that Mexicans only rape Chinese people moving forward. This had previously been a sticking point for President Nieto but he acknowledged that concessions have to be made.
Nieto closed the meeting by addressing the terms of the agreement, “Raping Americans has long been one of our nation’s favorite activities; right behind futbol and raping each other. But now we must focus on the Chinese.”