TAMPA, FL – “I had a tough decision to make,” said Matt Dodd, 22, a fifth year senior at the University of Tampa. Sources say that, as graduation approached, Dodd struggled with deciding whether to work for his father’s company or to exploit his parents’ financial generosity and backpack through Europe for a year.
Local journalists report that homeless man and decorated war hero, Lawrence “Larry” Douglas, 67, approached Dodd on Thursday evening. Dodd was sitting in his red 2015 Dodge Charger at a stoplight on the corner of Kennedy Boulevard and Matanzas Avenue when Douglas asked Dodd for a cigarette, Dodd obliged.
“He was so hilarious and super positive. He was wearing a sick old school Beige Kangol hat. After I gave him a cig he was all like “Blessed day! God is smiling on us today good sir!”
“Life is really hard,” said Dodd. “I don’t want to do something lame for a living. Who knows what could happen, I could end up poor or something shitty like that if I’m not careful. Larry taught me that,” Dodd stated on the 6th hole of the Tampa Backwood Country Club, chugging a beer.
“He was inspirational. Because of him I’ve decided to volunteer my Saturday at the local Baptist Church’s Soup Kitchen,” Dodd announced. “If I’m not too hung-over, I’m definitely going to try my best to make it, probably.”
When asked for a statement on the situation, Douglas was quoted as saying “fuck that privileged bitch.”