Local Man Avoids Best Friend’s Clear Signs of Alcoholism

In Relationships by Joe Powell

MANCHESTER, NH – “I’m concerned about him and his drinking,  but I don’t want to make a big deal about it, or, even worse, encourage him to confront me about my Adderall addiction,” said Michael Mack, 28, a medical sales representative and avid men’s softball player.

Mack has been drinking with best friend Ryan England since they were both 14-years-old. Local journalists report that Mack recently witnessed England drink 27 beers in just under four hours before scaling a neighbors fence, defecating on the hood of a vehicle, and cheering loudly for international martyr, Harambe the gorilla.

The episode, which woke neighbors who alerted police, was described by Mack as “hilarious,” and “typical Ryan.”

Mack ripped a bowl of weed, continuing, “I think if Ryan has an alcohol issue than that’s something he’ll have to confront and correct on his own,” Mack paused, coughing into his elbow. “But, I’m not going to tell the guy what to do. He’s a grown man and my best friend.”

About the Author

Joe Powell

I am a comedy writer and Co-Founder of DeadJesters Read more...