New York Realtor Fired for Actually Representing His Clients Best Interests

In Local News by Ryco Newton-Block

NEW YORK, NY – “I don’t know what came over me. It was the worst mistake of my professional career,” said Michael Milner, a NYC real estate agent with 12 years of experience. “I lost everything. I represented my client’s interests instead of my own and it has cost me dearly. I’ve been fired from my brokerage, shunned by my peers, and blackballed by the entire real estate community.” Michael claims his actions were not premeditated but those around him have their doubts.

“Michael was behaving strangely. He began acting ethically, almost professionally. It was disgusting,” says colleague Mark Catalano, a bait-and-switch expert with a propensity to oversell, under deliver, and lock his clients into horrifically one-sided contractual agreements.

Throughout Michael’s dealings with his client, which ended in a mutually beneficial business transaction in which both parties achieved their goals and neither was exploited, he violated many brokerage rules.

Michael was found guilty of a mind-blowing number of professional infractions, including: 1) creating a real ad for an actual unit at its actual price, 2) responding to a client’s inquiry in a timely manner, 3) not using the time-proven bait-and-switch tactic, 4) not up-selling, 5) respecting a client’s time, 6) not pressuring the client to apply immediately, and, the worst infraction a real estate agent can make, 7) not being an overall piece of shit.

Mark Catalano commented, “at the end of the day, our clients are walking commission checks disguised in skin suits. Somewhere along the way Michael forgot that. He forgot who he was. It’s really sad. I feel for his wife and kids. Without a job they’ll probably need to downsize… and I have just the place for them.”

About the Author

Ryco Newton-Block

Ryco Newton-Block is a comedy writer and stand-up comic from South Florida. Read more...